Reply – Re: Confused
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Re: Confused
— by Bryan Bryan

I certainly understand the confusion here. It's difficult when you aren't completely sure where the other individual stands.

What I appreciate about him is the fact that he is pretty forthright when it comes to discussing his needs/wants in regards to his goals. I feel there is a great level of trust here and that he feels comfortable opening up to you about these potential choices, but he may sometimes seem 'a bit all over the place'. I don't necessarily see that as a negative because it means he is still trying to figure out everything himself. The desire to move back to his home is very strong, though. He feels a comfort there.

In regards to the relationship here, I would take it one day at a time as I do believe his goals/wants/needs will often times overshadow his feelings towards you. It's as if he gets in closer, but then backs off slightly on the emotional front. This would easily feel like hot and cold behaviour in general and is something to remain cognizant of because it's important that your needs are being met, too.

While it's true that past hurts are an influence here, I do not believe he truly 'fears' a relationship with you specifically, but I'm not confident he is ready for a long lasting commitment. It doesn't mean that it won't happen, but right now his priorities are elsewhere and his uncertainty and anxiety are ruling the way. If anything, this would be a long waiting game for you.

You may want to consider the idea of discussing overall direction here. If nothing else, it would help both of you get on the same page.

Kindest Regards,

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