Reply – Re: toxic relationship (2nd post)
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Re: toxic relationship (2nd post)
— by Bryan Bryan
Hi Simone,

First off, I personally apologize for the late response here. We do our best to be punctual because we understand that timely responses, especially in regards to matters of the heart, will help to calm a situation or even help to bring peace of mind. That allows you to keep moving forward yourself and not feel weighed down by the issues that are eating away at you. I’ve felt that way before and it’s not easy!

I do not believe Jake and your ex to be exactly the same; however, there are some consistent traits and behaviours you should look out for. Jake is the type that will tug at your heart strings and pull on you when he is struggling or needs direction.  He will inadvertently project guilt your way at times as a means to feel better about his own situations. You may also feel that sometimes you aren’t worth his time if he’s finally starting to feel great about himself or any time you offer friendly criticism. Additionally, if the situation is ‘too easy’ for him, you may feel left out because he may start to back away and take it for granted. As do many people, he enjoys the chase. Ultimately, he needs some direction because he’s actually a great guy to be around when his world is going well, but it’s not your responsibility to mend every single wound either.

Situations like this can easily feel like a roller coaster that has no ending. While some level of ups and downs will always be normal, I would encourage you to look at what you are giving. Are you getting it all in return? Is this situation balanced? Are both people fully vested in the future of this? I believe those are questions you should be asking yourself here.

Folks that are sensitive and empathic in general will often times draw in and feel deeply attracted to individuals that either need a boost or some form of emotional healing. When this is excessive, it will create that feeling of being drained.  Think about other times you’ve been in a similar situation. While I don’t believe in dwelling on the past, I do believe past circumstances have the capacity to teach us. This situation may not feel as blatant as what you experienced before, but make sure it isn't heading down a similar road.

Hold on to your own power, meditate on what you truly want, and start knowing exactly what you deserve. You can make any choice you want here, but at the end of the day it is important that you empower yourself enough to know that you deserve to receive the same as what you are giving.

Hang in there and again, sorry for the late response!

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