Confused

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CMW
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Confused

CMW
I started to get to know and get involved with someone 4-5 months ago.  It started out as friendship but has progressed to more.  I really like this guy and think I have fallen for him.  This "relationship" has been different than anything I have ever experienced in a good way.  However, I'm unsure how he feels about me.  I know he has some past issues keeping him stuck from moving forward with his feelings if he has any for me at all other than friendship and attraction.  I'm also confused because he wants to move 600 miles away to where he used to live for several years.  I was hoping that there was potential for this to grow into something much deeper and possibly even potential for this to be long-term but with his state of mind with past issues and him wanting to move back so much, I'm feeling sad and confused about this.  I really wish I knew if he was falling for me, too, and if that could change things for him.  Is there hope for this to be more?

CMW
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Re: Confused

Bryan
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Hi CMW,

I certainly understand the confusion here. It's difficult when you aren't completely sure where the other individual stands.

What I appreciate about him is the fact that he is pretty forthright when it comes to discussing his needs/wants in regards to his goals. I feel there is a great level of trust here and that he feels comfortable opening up to you about these potential choices, but he may sometimes seem 'a bit all over the place'. I don't necessarily see that as a negative because it means he is still trying to figure out everything himself. The desire to move back to his home is very strong, though. He feels a comfort there.

In regards to the relationship here, I would take it one day at a time as I do believe his goals/wants/needs will often times overshadow his feelings towards you. It's as if he gets in closer, but then backs off slightly on the emotional front. This would easily feel like hot and cold behaviour in general and is something to remain cognizant of because it's important that your needs are being met, too.

While it's true that past hurts are an influence here, I do not believe he truly 'fears' a relationship with you specifically, but I'm not confident he is ready for a long lasting commitment. It doesn't mean that it won't happen, but right now his priorities are elsewhere and his uncertainty and anxiety are ruling the way. If anything, this would be a long waiting game for you.

You may want to consider the idea of discussing overall direction here. If nothing else, it would help both of you get on the same page.

Kindest Regards,

~Bryan
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